Requiem For a Dream: September 2005

有些人...

有些人我是永遠不會明白的。是他們天生那麼白痴？還是後天腦部營養不足所至？但他們的父母應該是很疼愛他們的，營養三餐應該不成問題，那究竟是什麼原因？這個問題的確令我百思莫解... 他們說話時有沒有想過別人的感受？有沒有想過後果？或許平日的我是個隨和的人，或許是我太 sensitive，但這世上有種東世是叫 respect 的，你不尊重我，我也不會尊重你，十分簡單。

唉... 算吧。或許他真的是個在溫室下長大而極之單純的男生，我就以我的智慧及氣量原諒他吧。但你的說話的確令我十分不爽...

Happy 19

Happy Birthday Davide! Life is beautiful...

Daily life

Ten minutes ago I was in the washroom washing my face, I took off the headband and looked into the mirror and I realized my hairstyle was the type like Leonardo Dicaprio a few years ago... Then i thought... Wow this guy infront of me is fuckin' hot... I started to look for a cigarrete cause I think hot guys with evil eyes holding a cigarrate is really really sexy but I failed, too bad mom took them away with her... I'm a non-smoker by the way.

Realization

Today I have realized things that I had never realized before, the sky suddenly looked so beautiful when I sat on the grass. I look at the sky everyday, but it has never been as beautiful as tonight. I can still image the clouds moving with moonlight shining behind them.

My "Taxi Driver" and "Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind"... I was planning to watch them this weekend but now I cannot. But I guess that is not a bad thing afterall.

I really want to watch "Cinderella Man" and "Corpse Bride"... Hope I'm not going to get snubbed this time...

It's a sort of psychological sickness you see? I am not "sick" as in being "sick" but I am "sick"... Do you get me?

It just doesn't feel great when you had just spent a beautiful day with a cute girl and then you realize that the next thing she's gonna do is to go home and shag with another guy...I don't mean I'm falling for her but you know...it's just unimaginable...

...

I want to be normal
would you understand me?
Easy and simple
just like flowers beautiful

Beautiful I know I am
but won't you understand?
Keep up with me
and i shall be free

This is pure bullshit
no poetry nor literature
just shit but that's me

Charmless man

我開始為自己的燒雞翼技巧而感到有一點點自豪...連 Victoria、Min 及 Yvonne 也讚呵呵呵呵...但Kathy 居然...我的雞翼！

最近感覺到一點病徵及先兆，evergreen2 不要墮落不要墮落不要墮落不要墮落...

Components of my life:Music - 60% Film - 40%

and now begins the story of a charmless man...

忘記他

假如要我送你一首歌，那一定會是這一首。還有一定要是關淑怡版本。

「忘記他

忘記他等於忘掉了一切
等於將方和向拋掉
遺失了自已

忘記他等於忘盡了歡喜
等於將心靈也鎖住
同苦痛一起

從來只有他 可以令我欣賞自已
更能讓我去用愛
將一切平凡事 變得美麗

忘記他 怎麼忘記得起
銘心刻骨來永久記住
從此永無盡期」

Words

"Its only words and words are all I have to take your heart away"

Words are bloody useless; language itself is useless. It's so limited and shallow. Some say love is simple but no how come I can't find a language which can fully explain love? No language can fully explain grief. No language can fully explain anything. 你我都是「失語綜合症」病患者，感情對我們來說是 unexpressable 的，所以我們能成為朋友。每次看王家衛的電影也會有這種感覺。面對情感只懂啞口無言，做出匪夷所思的行為，但我不是梁朝偉，沒有 happy ending，沒有王菲，也沒有金像獎。

思念

今天上堂時有人提到：愛情是源於思念。就是說，當你不知不覺，無時無刻下意識地去思念一個人時，也許你已經愛上了他。Is that true? I have no idea...

「思念」一詞帶一點點怨，又帶點恨，很有老土民間故事的感覺。我承認我頂多只是會忽然想起某某人，「思念」這詞對我來說還是怨婦味太重，有點吃不消。也許是我害怕思念人，又或許我已忘記什麼是愛。

什麼是愛？太 philosophical 了這個問題...

Walter's Kaaaiiisss Collection VOLUME 1

Words of wisdom
1)我要寰遊世界！
2)摩門教其實神都係人...
3)百事血

Crap but ridiculously funny
1)Dinosaur
2)Mr Higghite
3)Burning Water
4)Chris Barton and Chris Martin
5)托住支炮去 PE
6)木村武

Pure crap
1)Pluto...

Memories

「不知何時開始，每個東西上面都有一個日子，秋刀魚會過期，肉罐頭會過期，連保鮮紙也會過期，我開始懷疑，在這個世界上，還有什麼東西是不會過期的？」

「如果記憶也是一個罐頭的話，我希望這罐罐頭不會過期；如果一定要加一個日子的話，我希望是......一萬年。」

Femme fatale

黑髮，手執香煙的美女永遠是男性弱點的陷阱。她們永遠是 film-noir 電影中的女角，法文中的 femme fatale，性感但帶有危險性。她們是 70% 可可的 dark chocolate，外表吸引，帶有神秘感，味雖苦澀，但卻令人不能自拔地愛上它。

也許是男性動物天生帶有愛冒險的特質，總喜歡挑戰危險的 femme fatale，但住住結局也是悲哀的。就像 film-noir 的男主角一樣，什麼也難不到他，就是敗在一個黑髮美女手上。That's why I love dark chocolate.

The Best of Youth

Watched "The Best of Youth" on Saturday. 「燦爛人生」這個中文名改得很好，看着電影再想起「燦爛人生」這詞總是感到一點點的 ironic。故事雖平淡但卻十分寫實，散發着一絲絲的平淡美。那種悲哀的感覺是來得十分自然，沒有一點煽情，一點刻意。或許沒有太多人會欣賞這種十分「歐洲」的電影。I want to say sorry to the girl beside me. Next time I promise we will watch a more entertaining flick such as "Corpse of Bride", especially when we are both admirers of Tim Burton :p "影藝 D 位又真係幾唔好坐既..."